A Valentine's Day Reflection: You Deserve Love, Especially from Yourself

Miri and her younger daughter

Valentine’s Day is often celebrated as a time to express love to others. But what about the love we give ourselves? In a world where productivity is glorified and self-worth is often measured by external achievements, many of us are suffering from an epidemic of lack of self-love.

How Many People Struggle with Self-Love?

Research suggests that 85% of people struggle with low self-esteem at some point in their lives. Society conditions us to believe that our value lies in how much we can contribute in quantifiable ways—our job titles, salaries, social status, or how much we do for others. Yet, the soft contributions—our emotional well-being, kindness, and self-compassion—are often overlooked or undervalued.

The Cost of Ignoring Ourselves

In the pursuit of being the “most valuable employee,” “most dedicated parent,” or “most dependable friend,” we sacrifice our own well-being. Many caregivers and hardworking individuals delay self-care, health check-ups, exercise, balanced eating, and social connections because they see their worth in how much they serve others. We become robots of productivity, mindlessly scrolling through social media, comparing our lives to curated highlight reels, and ignoring the signals our mind and body send us.

But at what cost?

Burnout. Chronic illness. Mental exhaustion. Lost identity.

We have stopped listening to our inner voice. Instead, we let the outside world dictate our value.

For years as a mother and a cancer patient caregiver, I had forgotten about myself. My role as a mom or a daughter took over my identity as a person. Years of burnout and lack of sleep caused me immense harm—extended high cortisol levels led to adrenal fatigue, chronic inflammation, and HPA axis dysregulation. The stress took a toll on my health, and I ignored the warning signs my body was giving me. Now, I am learning to balance it all by prioritising my mind and body needs first. I am learning to listen to my body when it tells me something is wrong—all the small signals that were always there but I had trained myself to ignore.

How to Practice Self-Love and Why It Matters

It’s time to redefine love—starting with ourselves. Self-love is not selfish; it is necessary. Here’s how you can start:

1. Listen to Your Body’s Needs – Your body whispers before it screams. Fatigue, headaches, digestion issues—these are signals, not inconveniences. Pay attention.

   
   

2. Know When to Stop and When to Say No – Saying no to others sometimes means saying yes to yourself. Boundaries are a form of self-respect.

   
   

3. Prioritise Self-Care – Make time for activities that recharge you, whether it’s a hobby, a nap, or simply sitting in silence.

   
   

4. Mind and Body Care – Your mental and physical health go hand in hand. Move your body, eat well, rest deeply, and nourish your mind.

   
   

5. Rest Without Guilt – You don’t have to “earn” rest. You are human, not a machine.

   
   

6. Do Regular Health Check-Ups – Preventive care is an act of self-love. Don’t wait until it’s too late to take care of your health.

   
   

7. Know the Difference Between Eating Healthy and Eating Well – Healthy eating isn’t about restriction; it’s about nourishment. Listen to what your body truly needs.

   
   

8. Define Your Own Happiness – Stop living for validation. What makes YOU feel fulfilled? That is the happiness that matters.

Final Thoughts: Love Yourself First

This Valentine’s Day, while the world celebrates love, let’s not forget the most important relationship—the one we have with ourselves. When we love ourselves, we are healthier, happier, and more present for those we care about.

You are worthy, just as you are.

So, what’s one small act of self-love you will commit to today? Please comment and let me know.

With love from Miri (Valentine's Day 2025)